Stage Therapy

Have you ever wondered what it would look like if every ugly thought I've ever had about women and about religion was vomited on to a page and then performed for a live studio audience? Me, too! (Fuck you, Neil LaBute.) And now, thanks to the Mind the Gap theatre company of New York City, you and I can both experience the hideous joy of scripted misogyny...as written by yours truly!

Yes, for ten shows in late April and early May, Mind the Gap will be staging BritBits 5, their award-winning (I might've made that up) show in which they perform "British-inspired short plays for the busy Anglophile." I have contributed one such short play for this latest incarnation and it's about a douche bag who dies and discovers that God is a lovely British woman (as played by Mia Moreland). Genius. (pats self on back) This fulfills a lifelong dream to write dialogue that will be performed by a British actor. As we all know, anything spoken by a Brit is pure gold. The words don't even matter. They call elevators "lifts" and toilets "loos." So precious! I just hope the one American actor doesn't fuck it up. The Americans...always fucking things up with that grotesque accent (cursed, Andie MacDowell!).

Anyway, I would love it if you all would do me a solid by taking time out of your busy lives to buy a ticket and come see one of the performances. I'd love it even more if you coerced your friends into joining you. I'd love it even more if you saw it multiple times. And I'd really love it if you told me it was brilliant...even if it's not. Actually, I've been to three of the previous four installments of this series and it's always been a good time. Things move quick, so if one play doesn't suit your taste, you'll hardly have time to get worked up about it before the next one takes the stage. The last time I went there was a grown man in ass-less chaps on stage. (it was an American)

So, please, come watch as I deify and demonize women...all in the span of about 12 minutes. Watch as I work through my many issues on-stage in the most transparent "oh, it's not me" representation of my inner psyche in the history of modern history!