You Betcha?

Ever since John Williams had the audacity to commend me on my picks and not-so-subtly imply that I might know just what the hell I'm doing, my picks have gone South for the winter. Last week was the first week I was below .500, though I still managed to be correct on my marquee pick of Indianapolis covering the ridiculous 4.5 point spread against Tennessee. It was the lone bright spot in an otherwise dismal week. Yep, it's true---I'm a fraud. Due to time constraints this morning (um, hungover), this week you'll get all the fraudulent picks without any of the bogus commentary. Have at it, suckers.

Last Week:

Against the Spread: 5-9
Mortal Locks: 1-2
Net profit: -$74.75

Overall Totals:

Against the Spread: 37-23 (.617)
Mortal Locks: 7-5
Net profit: $88.49

Week 6 (road teams are always listed first):

1) Kansas City (+6.5) vs. Washington: take KC

2) Houston (+4) vs. Cincinnati: take Cincinnati

3) Cleveland (+14.5) vs. Pittsburgh: take Cleveland

4) Baltimore (+3) vs. Minnesota: take Baltimore

5) St. Louis (+10) vs. Jacksonville: take Jacksonville

6) NY Giants (+3) vs. New Orleans: take NY Giants

7) Carolina (-3) vs. Tampa Bay: take Carolina

8) Detroit (+14) vs. Green Bay: take Green Bay

9) Philadelphia (-15) vs. Oakland: take Philadelphia

10) Arizona (+3) vs. Seattle: take Seattle

11) Buffalo (+10) vs. NY Jets: take Buffalo

12) Tennessee (+9.5) vs. New England: take New England

13) Chicago (+3.5) vs. Atlanta: take Atlanta

14) Denver (+3.5) vs. San Diego: take San Diego

Mortal Lock #1: Philadelphia (-15)
Mortal Lock #2: Green Bay (-14)
Mortal Lock #3: Carolina (-3)

This week's bets:

1) Jacksonville (-10): $20 to win $18.18
2) Carolina (-3): $25 to win $18.52
3) Green Bay (-14): $25 to win $22.73
4) Philadelphia (-15): $25 to win $22.73
5) Kansas City (+6.5): $22.42 to win $20.38
6) 5-game parlay picking Baltimore, Jacksonville, NY Giants, Carolina, Philadelphia: $5 to win $113.24

Happy Betting.