Saturday, November 8, 2008

Letter to Republicans

Dear McCain/Palin voters (all 57,358,053 of you),

Suck it!

Sorry. Sorry. I lost control for a second. I apologize. But can you blame me for enjoying a little bit of Schadenfreude? Your party elected, twice, a man who will most likely go down in history as one of the least successful leaders in the history of the world. He was so incompetent that his eight years in office have helped redefine his father's one-term presidential legacy as one filled with class, grace, wisdom and honor. We democrats now miss Bush Sr.. After eight years of an administration willing to say and do anything to maintain its power, and after a McCain campaign that showed every sign of following in that dishonorable tradition, you bet we're dancing in the streets of the East Village:

But here's the deal I'll make with you. If you give Obama's presidency a fair, non-partisan shake, I'll be as critical of his mistakes as I was with those that Bush made. And, if you promise to root out the elements in your party who have steered the GOP toward a hateful form of right-wing fanaticism, I'll buy you a beer. Domestic. Deal? Look, I know this isn't going to be easy, but I did it for you. I totally gave Bush the benefit of the doubt after he was elected in 2000. He ran as a "uniter" and, after he won, I allowed myself to see if that would in fact be true. Rather than look for reasons to oppose Bush, I chose to look for reasons to support him.

His first key act as President was to propose and pass legislation extending government funding to include faith-based charitable organizations. After an election which many Democrats felt Bush had stolen, few of us were willing to get in line behind "our" President, especially on an issue which could easily be criticized as blurring the line between church and state. I was not one of those people. Why? Because the initiative made sense. If some faith-based organizations can minister to the poor better than some who are not faith-based, then those are the organizations we should fund. The legislation had sufficient language to ensure that the "faith" component of the organization would not be used as a prerequisite to obtain the charitable services they offered. It just made sense. Help those that help.

And that's what I ask of you. Give Obama a chance. You think he's full of shit? You think he's all hype? All style? You think he's just another politician? Maybe he is, but do try your best to find ways to support him...not ways to sink him. Take his words at face value until, as was the case with Bush, there's clear evidence to the contrary. Assume the best about Obama, not the worst. Don't cease to be critical of him, but don't be critical for partisan reasons either. The race is over, but you didn't necessarily lose. Help those that help.

Oh, and one more thing. You're gonna have to let Palin go. Sorry, but if you can ridicule Ted Kennedy as some sort of icon of liberal absurdity, even after his tireless efforts in the Senate for most of his life, then you're gonna have to let us have Palin be the icon of conservative absurdity. Let her go. Honestly, this is to your benefit. Think about it. Palin is to us what Ted Kennedy is to you. Yeah, you go ahead and run her out there as some symbol of of the new GOP. Go right ahead, because if she's ever sniffing the top part of a presidential ticket, you guys are going down and going down hard.

Peace, my brothers and sisters.


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