Live Blogging: The first hour of my birthday.
12:01 am Staring at cell phone. It's not ringing. I've officially reached the age where people no longer consider it cute to call at the stroke of midnight to sing Happy Birthday.
12:04 am Still not ringing. Getting cold. And hungry.
12:09 am So far, only my stalker has seen fit to wish me a Happy Birthday...and that was three hours ago by text.
12:11 am (considers calling stalker)
12:12 am (decides to make an egg McMuffin sandwich instead)
12:25 am I wasn't kidding.
12:29 am Do I really need to clean up now? What was I thinking.
12:34 am Stole a Snickers bar from my roommate. She killed my cat. Revenge is mine!
12:35 am Now that my roommate is dating some guy, I guess she won't be baking me a cake for my birthday this year. Man, this is shaping up to be a miserable birthday.
12:39 am Checked my horoscope:
Your Scorpio’s ability to think deeply will be an asset today. Something may be bugging you: chances are it’s related to romance. If you’re attached and things have gone a little tepid then this is a great day to ignite those passions again, while singles could experience an encounter that ripples on for days!
Yes! Another romantic encounter that lasts only a few days! Score.
12:44 am Decide to Google "the age of 35," and the first hit is: Sperm Damage Rises from 35: Study. Jesus.
12:49 am Decide to Google "Kraig Smith," and the first hit is my Facebook page! Wait. No. It's some other douchebag Kraig Smith's Facebook page. Christ, I can't even have that to myself? But I have the #2 and #3 links, so I'm pretty sure that silver and bronze exceed gold.
12:54 am Only because the constitution finally allows me to do so, I hereby announce my candidacy for the President of the United States of America.
12:56 am Fearing that my stalker may now reside in a battleground state and might write me in on the ballot, I hereby withdraw my name from presidential consideration. 2012, baby. 2012.
12:59 am Throws phone against the wall. Decides to play Madden 09 on the PS3.
12:04 am Still not ringing. Getting cold. And hungry.
12:09 am So far, only my stalker has seen fit to wish me a Happy Birthday...and that was three hours ago by text.
12:11 am (considers calling stalker)
12:12 am (decides to make an egg McMuffin sandwich instead)
12:25 am I wasn't kidding.
12:29 am Do I really need to clean up now? What was I thinking.
12:34 am Stole a Snickers bar from my roommate. She killed my cat. Revenge is mine!
12:35 am Now that my roommate is dating some guy, I guess she won't be baking me a cake for my birthday this year. Man, this is shaping up to be a miserable birthday.
12:39 am Checked my horoscope:
Your Scorpio’s ability to think deeply will be an asset today. Something may be bugging you: chances are it’s related to romance. If you’re attached and things have gone a little tepid then this is a great day to ignite those passions again, while singles could experience an encounter that ripples on for days!
Yes! Another romantic encounter that lasts only a few days! Score.
12:44 am Decide to Google "the age of 35," and the first hit is: Sperm Damage Rises from 35: Study. Jesus.
12:49 am Decide to Google "Kraig Smith," and the first hit is my Facebook page! Wait. No. It's some other douchebag Kraig Smith's Facebook page. Christ, I can't even have that to myself? But I have the #2 and #3 links, so I'm pretty sure that silver and bronze exceed gold.
12:54 am Only because the constitution finally allows me to do so, I hereby announce my candidacy for the President of the United States of America.
12:56 am Fearing that my stalker may now reside in a battleground state and might write me in on the ballot, I hereby withdraw my name from presidential consideration. 2012, baby. 2012.
12:59 am Throws phone against the wall. Decides to play Madden 09 on the PS3.
posted by Kraig Smith at
1:01 AM
3 Comments:
Happy Birthday, a bit belatedly.
More importantly, though, let's get to work on your '12 campaign. Sounds like fun...
Happy Birthday, a bit belatedly.
More importantly, though, let's get to work on your '12 campaign. Sounds like fun...
Thanks, John. Thanks, John.
Actually, while I'd love to have you on my ticket, I might need to consider Baxter for balance. But my Chief of Staff job...
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